Scare
by Neirthen
Summary: In which Prowl is afraid of spiders, Ratchet is afraid of snakes, and Red Alert is just afraid.


The appearances of Prowl or Red Alert in the rec room were generally regarded as rare sights. Both officers were workaholics, preferring to remain at their respective work stations rather than venturing out to socialise with their fellow Autobots. As such, when either showed their face in the social hub of the Ark, it was widely remarked upon. When both Prowl and Red Alert made an appearance (once every few weeks, when they both had time off) it was an all out event, nothing too spectacular mind you. They'd just pick a table, play a few games of chess and that would be the end of it.

Prowl was carefully inspecting the chess board between him and Red Alert when Wheeljack lumbered up to them and threw himself down in a spare seat at their table. The engineer proceeded to cross his arms and sulk, or at least, Prowl thought he was sulking, it could be hard to tell sometimes with Wheeljack's faceplate.

Prowl traded glances with Red Alert and waited for Wheeljack to say something, explain why he'd interrupted their chess game. Wheeljack did no such thing. Finally, Prowl decided that if Wheeljack wasn't going to say anything, he would.

"Can we help you with something, Wheeljack?" Prowl asked politely.

"You haven't blown anything up have you?" Red Alert asked, optics narrowing in suspicion.

"Ratchet," grumbled Wheeljack, speaking at last, not looking at either Prowl or Red Alert.

"You blew up Ratchet?" Red Alert, sounding alarmed, half stood up from his seat.

Prowl sighed. "Calm yourself, Red. I highly doubt Wheeljack blew up Ratchet."

Red Alert turned his horrified optics to Prowl. "But Prowl..." But before he could finish his sentence, Ratchet entered the rec room, carrying a large metal container.

"There, you see," said Prowl, shooting Red Alert a significant look.

Red Alert sat back down, looking rather disgruntled, while Wheeljack shook his head at the sight before him.

"Afternoon, chaps," said Ratchet brightly, reaching their table and resting his container on it before taking a seat.

"Why are you so happy?" asked Red Alert, eyeing the medic oddly.

Ratchet sighed. "Must everything be a conspiracy with you, Red? I just got a new shipment of medical supplies."

"I never said it was a conspiracy," said Red Alert indignantly.

"You were thinking it, I could tell." Ratchet turned his attention back to the container and reaching in, removed a medical tool. He ran his hands down the body of the device, inspecting it and thus missed the dirty look Red Alert shot him.

"You are such a workaholic," Wheeljack broke in, sounding unnaturally grumpy.

"Is that was this is about?" asked Prowl, looking between Ratchet and Wheeljack. Both mechs ignored him.

"What?" huffed Ratchet, waving a tool around. "I can hardly use the tools if I haven't inspected them properly, can I?"

"Ratchet," Wheeljack leaned forwards and gripped his friend's shoulders, "this is supposed to be your break."

Red Alert snorted. "Ha, breaks, a complete waste of time and resources if you ask me."

"You would say that, Red," said Wheeljack, at last acknowledging the existence of others at the table. "Heck, you, Ratchet and Prowl should start a club, or better yet, join workaholics anonymous."

"That is hardly amusing, Wheeljack," Prowl said dryly. "We are not the ones who blow ourselves up on a regular basis."

Red Alert nodded triumphantly. "Exactly."

"No, Red Alert here just sets off the security alarms a dozen times a day."

"Would you lot cut it out," snapped Ratchet, picking out another tool. "I can't concentrate with you yapping away like that."

"Hmph," Red Alert tossed his head back and settled for glaring at Wheeljack.

"Shall we continue on with our game, Red Alert?" said Prowl, raising his voice slightly.

"I suppose so," grumbled Red Alert grumbled, "if I can concentrate now that they're here."

"I'm sure you'll manage."

There was silence for a few minutes. Prowl and Red Alert carried on with their chess game, Ratchet inspected his tools, and Wheeljack sat slumped in his chair. All this changed, however, when Ratchet removed a strange looking tool from his container.

"What on Cybertron?" Ratchet frowned and turned the tool over for a better look.

"What is that?" asked Red Alert, shifting his chair backwards. "It doesn't look like any medical tool I've ever seen."

"It doesn't look any medical tool I've ever seen," said Ratchet, shaking his head.

Wheeljack stared at the tool as well, curiosity dawning in his optics. "Give me a look," he said and not even waiting for an answer, snatched the thing right out of Ratchet's hands.

"Hey," Ratchet exclaimed, "I was looking at that."

"Wheeljack," Red Alert eyed the engineer and the tool nervously, shifting his chair even further back, "I don't think you should be touching that, especially if Ratchet doesn't know what it is."

Wheeljack brushed Red Alert's concerns off. "Nonsense. How else will we learn what it is, if we don't experiment?"

"Wheeljack," said Prowl, "Red Alert is correct, please give the tool back to Ratchet."

"I think you twist it around," said Wheeljack, positioning his hands around the device.

"Wheeljack," snapped Ratchet, "don't you dare..."

BANG! Confetti exploded from the device, followed by a rubber snake and several fake spiders.

Red Alert screamed and flailed his arms wildly, overbalancing his chair and flinging himself heels over head to the floor, Prowl yelped and leapt to his feet, scrambling backwards, optics alight with horror and disgust, and Ratchet shrieked, falling right out of his chair in his haste to get away.

When it was all over, there was a stunned silence, every bot in the rec room staring at Prowl, Ratchet and Red Alert in a mixture of shock and amusement. The silence was soon broken by Sideswipe bursting out into laughter, his mirth so great that he pounded his fist on his table.

"What the hell Sideswipe?" exclaimed Brawn.

Ratchet was silent, looking from the snake that had inspired such fear in him, to Sideswipe.

"They're not real," Sideswipe explained through his laughter. "I just wanted to play a little prank on Ratchet, but I must say, I didn't expect a reaction of quite that magnitude."

"Not...real?" murmured Prowl, staring down at the spiders.

"Nope," Sideswipe replied cheerfully.

Everyone looked at Prowl and Ratchet, expecting the second in command to sentence Sideswipe to the brig and Ratchet to start screaming, but nothing of the sort happened.

There came a groan as Red Alert pulled himself back to his feet, using the table for support, his horns flashing bright blue.

"Dizzy," mumbled Red Alert, pressing a hand to his sparking horns. "What happened?"

Hoist hastened to assure the security director, while making his way over to the three 'victims'. "Just a little prank, Red."

Just then, there came a sizzling sound as Prowl collapsed on the floor, smoke pouring out of his head.

"Oops," Sideswipe snickered. His amusement was furthered even more when, seconds later, Red Alert swooned, slumping to the floor in a dead faint.

The collapse of his friends seemed to bring Ratchet out of his daze, and he tore his gaze away from the rubber snake, fixing it on Sideswipe instead. His gaze quickly turned deadly, his hands clenched into fists and his left optic twitched. Suddenly Sideswipe didn't look so sure of himself.

"Hoist," Ratchet spoke quietly and coldly, keeping his optics on Sideswipe, "you and Wheeljack get Prowl and Red Alert to the medbay and tell Prime what happened. Sideswipe, run."

"Now, now Ratchet," Sideswipe chuckled nervously, backing away from the irate medic, his hands held up in a defensive position. "It was just a joke."

"I'm going to murder you in your sleep," growled Ratchet, advancing towards Sideswipe and withdrawing his wrench from subspace, paying no mind to the warrior's pleas.

Sideswipe bolted and Ratchet wasted no time in tearing after him, screaming obscenities and threats all the way.

Hoist looked down at the unconscious forms of Prowl and Red Alert, glanced up at the ceiling and sighed. "It's another one of those days."


End file.
